Many gay partnerships have been founded on inter-continental meetings, through holidays or latterly with the advent of the web and an ability to form serious relationships online. A lot of these relationships can be between older and younger gay men. So if you have found the man of your dreams, how do you get him to your home country and into your life for good? It is not always easy but there are ways to achieve immigration for your prospective gay partner, and in more than one country.
The flip side of this hearts and flowers scenario is the ‘I just want to move to your country as an economic migrant and don’t love you at all’ one. Call me a cynic but this is often the case for people wishing to escape countries from the developing world and is an activity met by the daddy’s need to feel useful or be philanthropic. A contact of mine was saying the other day that he was waiting for his young lover to finish his education before inviting him to move to be with him, as he didn’t mind being a daddy. However, he did not want to be a sugar daddy and needed his young lover to be economically viable and independent first.
It is not possible to go into the immigration arrangements for gay men in all countries, so I will take the UK as an example. The UK Immigration Service requires evidence in order to examine an application for a non-UK/EU person to immigrate into the country. Such evidence includes joint bank statements, shared addresses, letters from each person detailing important things about the relationship, support letters from family and friends, evidence of co-habitation, employment and banking information and photographic and bills evidence.
In the UK there is also an Unmarried Person’s Rule, which allows entry or the right to remain of an overseas national if he and his partner have had a relationship akin to marriage for two years or more and the couple intends to live together permanently. You must also show that your partner can be housed and supported financially without recourse to State benefits.
In the US, gay immigration rights are in their infancy as many states do not yet have same sex marriage on the statute books. Even in those that do, immigration is impossible due mostly in part to DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act), which states that marriage is between a man and a woman only. The Immigration Service does not recognize same-sex relationships of any kind as a valid reason to gain leave to remain. If however, a person from overseas is suffering persecution it may be possible to apply for asylum. Also it may be possible to obtain a short term leave to stay as a student and subsequently on a one year employment authorization which can lead to an employer sponsoring him for a further three years of work and leave to stay. This can sometimes lead to a permanent residency, following a lengthy application process from an employer.
So it seems from this brief introduction to the issues above that it is possible for a gay man, be he older or not, to have his foreign partner come and live with him. I think it’s a test of a relationship’s strength and veracity if two people put themselves through what are difficult, stressful and frightening procedures with immigration officials over a long period of time in order to fulfill their dream for a positive future together. I have a bit of experience in supporting couples in the UK in such matters and the process (having to deal with authority figures and public organizations) can be scary. One thing to say, though, is that despite how it feels the authorities are fair and do not seem to be trying to catch people out.