There was a time, years ago, when the phrase Aging with HIV would have been regarded as a contradiction in terms. But with the advent of antiretroviral drugs, particularly in the West, this is becoming the norm. People are aging with HIV, and aging well in the main. HIV is no longer the ‘death sentence’ that it was once supposed to be – at least, once again, in the West.
All daddies will know that aging in and of itself is, or can, be a difficult process. Setting aside the usual aches and pains of aging and the emotional impact that these cause, there are of course more serious illnesses and diseases and some particularly high risk factors associated with HIV and, indeed, antiretroviral drugs. Thankfully support agencies are now focusing much more on those who are aged 50+. Some of the age-related diseases and conditions that people with HIV may be at higher risk of are cardiovascular disease, liver and kidney disease, cancer, diabetes, osteoporosis and neurocognitive decline. Also, recent studies are beginning to confirm an accelerated aging process in men with HIV, with conditions such as early onset dementia and the need for replacement hips being recorded at a far earlier age than the rest of the population. It is not known if this is due to HIV or antiretroviral medication – the jury is still out. However, this revelation is sending shock waves through health agencies as the older HIV population now surviving longer.
As an older man, what can you do to reduce these risks (including the ones those without HIV face)? You can take some steps to reduce the risk of disease and improve both your health and your quality of life. Quitting smoking, eating a healthy diet, getting more exercise, and avoiding or reducing use of alcohol and recreational drugs are but a few of the measures you can take. Supplements such as Vitamin D, the new wonder immune booster, and calcium can be beneficial and, unlike other supplements, do not interfere with the antiretroviral drugs.
Ageism coupled with the stigma that can still be attached to HIV may also lead to psychosocial or sexual problems. Older gay men often face a constantly changing place within the gay community, and this can be made worse by their HIV status. There can often be a mismatch, too, between older and younger HIV positive gay men, which does not help the older person who may need additional reassurance and support. Sometimes older HIV positive men may be estranged from families and other support networks, and may also have not made plans to have lived as long as they have. They may have, in a sense, given up on their lives, feeling there is no point in doing anything. They may also be financially vulnerable, having not taken work or educational opportunities earlier. Another part of the problems mentioned above can be stress and guilt, associated with surviving a life threatening illness and the stigma that that condition carries with it. Also, as HIV in many cases has sex as the means of infection, sexual problems can develop such as changes in libido, desire and sexual performance – things which may also be linked to antiretroviral drugs.
All of these problems require understanding and sometimes professional support, so if an older gay man with HIV has a younger partner, that partner must be prepared for such health eventualities and to give the support that their partner may need, which may impact on their quality of life. Older people with HIV are now much more visible; most health professionals would recommend that they need even more visibility. They need to grasp life, go out and meet more people – something which people over 50 usually stop doing, making less friends as they age and going out less frequently. One way to do this as a Daddy is to follow your interest in a younger man and scene.